Face Palm Parenting

*Warning contains some truly terrible parenting!

So yesterday I was sat in the Deputy Head Teacher’s office at my son’s school completely and utterly lost for words. My son had totally destroyed me and I wished the ground would open and swallow me right there and then. I did the walk of shame out of the office mumbling apologies and trying to hide my glowing red face. Total fail…

Monday night my eldest two boys were talking about something that had happened at school. Eavesdropping on the two of them semi discreetly is often the only way I ever find out what they get up to at the moment. If you ask them directly “How was school today?!” I get a detailed description of their lunch and that’s about it. Something about this story got me extremely concerned. I interrupted them and asked them to tell me what happened. I let them tell it their way in it’s entirety without a word from myself. I was not happy. In fact my blood had actually run cold.

About half an hour passed and I set Edward up doing his homework and I took Oren alone into the kitchen and I asked him to tell me what happened again. The story didn’t change, it was still just as disturbing as it was the first time. I set Oren up with his homework and did the same thing with Edward. When he finished I asked him a few very specific questions; “who specifically said blah blah blah?” and “who else was there?” and “did you tell a teacher?”

Sadly he didn’t tell the teacher because he said they wouldn’t listen because of the pupil involved. Edward was very concerned someone was going to get in trouble and I said I had to tell a teacher because what he’d told me was quite serious but I assured him he was not in trouble and there was absolutely nothing wrong in telling me the truth.

On the way to school the next morning I asked them both again to tell what happened, no details had changed so I dropped them off and went into the School. I’ve only ever been into the School twice in 5 years with a problem, I assure you I am not one of those parents!

The Deputy Head, who I should add has never met me before, was quite shocked with what I told her. She went and collected Edward from class and asked him to tell her what happened. Edward didn’t tell her the same story he told me.

…SAKE!

Genuinely mortified. I had gone in all guns blazing because of what my boys had told me and then Edward side swiped me. His innocent little face just destroyed every shred of credibility I had. I’m good with facts, I’m good with my words, I stand up for what I believe in and I promised them I would always be their voice and have their back and I would never have even approached the school if I didn’t 100% believe my children.

I was absolutely floored.

  • Were they both lying?
  • Were they scared?
  • Were they getting creative with details?
  • Were they trying to get this boy in trouble?
  • Were they doing this solely to drive me completely demented???

Literal face palm moment…

I asked Edward to tell her the rest of the story and he said “No that’s it Mummy I think you’ve got confused?” I could have died right there in shame. It didn’t help that the Deputy Head couldn’t even try and hide an enormous beaming grin at this point.

I couldn’t get out of there and home to the strongest coffee I have ever made quick enough.

Whilst putting Edward to bed last night I tagged my husband in and asked him to find out what was going on. Edward told him another story.

… SAKE!

A bit of mish mash between the two. He said he was scared he was going to get in to trouble or the other pupil was and got all confused and he wanted to go back to assembly because there was a real Labrador guide dog in there and it was bigger than Skye.

It was hilarious. It is hilarious. You have to laugh, because at this point the school aren’t going to take me seriously ever again so I might as well just appreciate the moment for what it is. Taken out by a 7 year old. Well played Edward, well played!

In my opinion, Edward isn’t particularly creative when it comes to lying. He’s not too bad at exaggerating but flat out lying is not his forte. The wording he used is completely unfamiliar too so I am fairly confident in saying that there is truth in his original story. I think he is scared to some point as well. This pupil has been in trouble and caused trouble before and Edward has expressed fear at attending school because of them.

A friend made an excellent point; even if children lie or tell a story there is an underlying reason to it that should not be ignored. Given that I only managed to hear the story by eavesdropping on them I think I’ll keep them both a little closer for the next few weeks see what else I hear.

I’m at a loss at what to do next frankly so I thought I’d do a post about it as this is real life and I can’t be the only parent this has happened to! The Boy who cried Wolf seems appropriate here as a life lesson and I need to remember he’s only 7. One day we’ll look back at this and we’ll laugh. In the meantime I think I’ll swap my coffee for a cocktail and try and forget it ever happened!

… if anyone has any advice or a decent cocktail recipe involving baileys or tequila please feel free to send me a message!

*all emoji images stolen from Emojipedia

4 Comments

  1. J

    Not a parenting fail … just another of life’s sweet lessons,you did what you thought was right and you’ve been honest in admitting perhaps !!! You may be confused (love it)
    Cocktail suggestion pour into glass and inhale x

    Liked by 1 person

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