Don’t Fight it, Embrace it! *How to win at parenting!

If you’re reading this then you’re probably familiar with that trait most parents have nowadays of googling their kid’s quirks online. “Is it normal if my toddler does…” is something I have searched more than once. I was also guilty of sitting up at night and searching “how can I stop my toddler…” climbing the walls, hitting the dog, biting his brothers, screaming because I put his shoes on, or pushing his friends at toddler group?

This is Loki after his walk of shame journey home after getting in trouble at toddlers this week!

One late night googling session opened my eyes, I shouldn’t be trying to stop my children doing anything. I should be embracing what it is they want to explore, work through and discover. I should be showing them what it is they want to know and I should be right there with them down whatever path it is they want to take.

I learned pretty quickly after having Edward that life was much easier as a parent if you embraced it. I embraced Edward’s habits and preferences, my world revolved around him completely. I did whatever he wanted (as long as it was safe) and it worked well.

I have done this with all 3 boys. I don’t pander to them as some might think, their needs, for the time being, are simple. They want to learn about the world around them; be it from a baby’s perspective by putting literally everything they can find in their mouths, to an older child asking approximately 8.7 million questions on the way home from school.

I’m 3 boys into this parenting lark and there are still things that surprise me. In the past few years I’ve joined (and left) more than a few parenting/activities for kids groups and was overwhelmed with the need to label everything your child does. Schema was a term I kept coming across.

I remember scrolling past a post that said;

“My son is going through the trajectory schema with a focus on positioning and orientation. Play ideas please!”

– now this use of terminology I found quite bewildering. I got googling and it basically translates to;

“My son is throwing stuff, rearranging the shelves and literally climbing the walls – please help!”

The idea of labelling all the random things my boys do in this fashion I personally found hilarious. So here’s my post that reflects Loki’s current phase;

“Loki is also going through the trajectory schema and at the moment is right in the midst of a transporting and enveloping schema obsession which is proving difficult. Play ideas please?”

or alternatively;

“Loki is throwing everything and is currently obsessed with making nests and hiding stuff, which is frankly driving me bonkers! Please bring cocktails!”

Now this is not my first child and I know all of the above are just a phase. Some he will grow out of naturally, some will develop into something else and some he’ll learn and evolve from. However, some I am just going to have to put up with.

For example; pictured below is an active Loki nest. These are clearly important items but I wish he’d stop hiding the smallest pieces of all his collections and I really really wish they weren’t in the “sick bucket!”

I regularly have a good rummage about online and lose track during many a bathroom trip rooting through Pinterest. I have plenty of notes on my phone full of play ideas, activity suggestions and I split them into categories and themes. This was all before I discovered the world of Schemas and I was delighted to see they actually work alongside them pretty well. I love googling random nonsense when I get a spare 10 minutes, I like to think, that just like my boys, I am always learning too.

I’m going to go through each Schema in my next few blog posts, just for fun. I thought I’d share some of my ideas now I’m done with babies. Shamelessly this will be something for me personally to reference much more easily instead of scrolling through all the gibberish notes in my phone!

I desperately need to find a quiet activity for Loki at the moment so I can get the dinner made without him pretending he’s a monkey strapped to my back in the Tula Baby Carrier . If you’ve any thoughts please get in touch!

Aside from my late night googling sessions I have no actual qualifications in this area, just my experiences as a parent. 7 and half years now is pretty good. They’re all still alive so I’m calling it a win. All thoughts and opinions are my own.


  1. I love this! Only thing is E is going through another biting stage and I can’t really let him do it because he hurts everybody. But google does not have any answers for me anyway!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Also when I was a play development work the labels were so different they were- physical play, kinetic play etc… schemas all seem pretty new to me

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes it’s really hard when it’s totally random. Loki does it when he gets all fired up – he simply doesn’t know what to do with himself and can’t express it and he bites. It’s incredibly frustrating! His brothers grew out of it quick enough so hopefully he will too xx

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  2. I’d never heard of schemas either. They seem to be all the rage now though so I’m just keeping track. Most of us naturally put stuff in categories intuitively so it’s just expanding on that really


  3. “They’re all still alive so I’m calling it a win.” 😂💙
    Love this. I also have loads of random notes on things to do with the kids dotted around the house/pinned/frying my brain…funnily enough they include an equinox ritual and snowflakes!
    Embracing parenthood is definitely the way to go!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great just what everyone needs new terms for those helicopter parents! Seriously my kids each had their own personality and I thank god for that. My son would hit the ground running and talking in the morning and never stop all day. My daughter could entertain herself with a book for hours. Revel in their little lives, my son is a drummer and I used to give him a wooden spoon and some pots, pans and bowls on the floor of the kitchen and he would bang away all the time I was in the kitchen. My daughter loves to sort things she would take things out of the cabinets and sort by size, color type etc. Have fun!

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